Memories…

They bring up memories. They bring up pain. They bring up the past. There is no gain. Only loss. I want to cry so badly right now. And I feel– Know– nobody cares. You may say you do, but I know the truth. I look at my screensaver, I read them. Obesity. I’ll always be it. Ugly. I’ll always feel it. Depression. I’ll never outgrow it. Stupid person says that they can make everything better. But guess what happened last time someone said that?? “I… Kinda met…. Someone.” Then she left. She never talks to me anymore. I didn’t want to be in a relationship. That’s not what upsets me. What upsets me is that she said she’d make things better and always be there for me, yet where the hell is she? Then they brings up bad memories of everyone saying they cared and leaving me. And I tell her that I can’t be happy and she tells me she will. I need to trust her. Yeah. What the fuck ever. God, if you’re there, kill me now. Strike me down. Bludgeon me to death. I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE.